Balancing Emotions and Reason In a Relationship

By Hannah E Fairfield 

Is it better to follow logic or impulse in a relationship? Should you go with your gut or should you analyze every little detail? It can be very tempting to let your feelings lead you at every turn, but your mind can loom over you and make you wonder whether you're making the right decisions or saying the right things. Our society doesn't provide very clear guidance; romantic media always portrays the idea that love wins out over all, but logic prevails in day-to-day situations. So which should you choose? How should you act in your relationship?

Using Your Heart
You can't go through life without listening to what your heart is telling you. Feelings are strong and going against them can be all too difficult at times. Often there is a reason for this. Your emotions are instinctual and instinct exists for a reason. There's a saying, "The heart wants what it wants." This is very true, and a lot of times there is no reasoning yourself out of what you are feeling.

All of that said, following your feelings exclusively can be disastrous. Emotions are driven by desire, which can lead to selfishness and illogical decision making. By no means should you ignore what your heart and your gut are telling you when dealing with men, but exclusively trusting your emotions to lead you down the right path in love will never work out.

Think About It First
Any intelligent woman will question the relationship she is in. It's smart to put thought into whether or not you should date a certain man, whether you should be the first to drop the "I love you" bomb or whether you should continue in a rocky relationship. It's important to think things through before making decisions, even if your heart is pulling you in the opposite direction.

Be wary of being overly analytical, however. If you spend too much time thinking about every little move he makes, obsessing over what you wear for your dates or pre-planning each word you say, it can easily drive you crazy. Being logical and aware in a relationship is important, but don't let your mind completely take over your dating life. After all, you are looking for love!

Find a Balance
Keep in mind that men are just like us - they battle with emotion versus reason on a regular basis, too. Choosing one or the other should not be the case; acknowledging both your emotions and your sense of reason can help you look at decisions from multiple sides, and thus make choices that are better for your relationship. It's not a matter of following your head or your heart, it's learning how to blend the two!